What Covid Has Taught Me So Far...
Today is Thursday – and I should be releasing a podcast episode.
However…Covid.
Four weeks ago, this Sunday we were exposed to someone who was positive but did not know yet.
3 weeks ago, tomorrow the Rocket Scientist tested positive and was already showing symptoms (8 days after he was officially retired – poor guy).
2 weeks ago, today I tested positive and was showing symptoms.
We did everything right and were so very careful. The things is, with this virus, we have to rely on others to do everything right as well.
So, here we are. 2 and 3 weeks after our journey with this virus started, we are both still struggling. And, on a day that I should be releasing a podcast episode, I am typing up a blog post instead.
Why?
Because it takes all that I have to breathe without talking. Add words to the mix and I struggle to fill my lungs with enough air, so I don’t feel oxygen starved. Recording an episode this week simply was not going to happen.
And that is ok. If I’ve learned anything over the last 3 weeks, it is that breathing is a high expectation that trumps all other tasks! Allowing my body the grace to simply lay there and do nothing, knowing that healing is in the resting, that is a gift that is of high value.
There are several other things I’ve learned in the past 21 days as well. This is my Creative Insight to Covid and Covid Recovery
I still struggle with PTSD from when our son was sick and we were caring for him. I didn’t sleep for days while the Rocket Scientist struggled with his cough. My nerves and adrenaline were through the roof listening for his breathing.
I don’t like sleeping in a different room from my hubby. It just feels wrong.
The anxiety the comes from not being able to catch your breath, it is like no other anxiety.
Losing your sense of smell and sense of taste is more traumatic than you might think.
Eating when you can’t smell or taste is hard – you have to find enjoyment in simply gaining nourishment.
Fatigue took on a new level – and we haven’t yet gotten past it.
Sleeping 12+ hours at night and taking several naps during the day can still not provide enough rest for you to knot be tired.
Soup is more healing than you can know.
Not tasting coffee makes me cry.
Trauma from the past comes out in tears when you are this sick.
It is a blessing to be so sick and still not have to go to the hospital.
On day 14 of the Covid headache I’m so very thankful I have not suffered with migraines and other headaches that many people duffer with every day.
Grace is so very important to give yourself.
Dishes and laundry will get done – and they will always be there!
Never take a deep breath for granted.
Never take the energy to take a walk without panting for granted.
A weighted blanket had been a sweet gift I didn’t know I needed.
Just because you feel ok one day does not mean you will feel the same the next (this is probably the most frustrating for us).
Cooking for someone else when you can’t smell or taste is very hard. Thankfully, he says everything has tasted good. Yay!
Real clothes are over-rated.
Pajamas are the new daily wardrobe and we need to embrace this as a society!
Sometimes ‘downtime’ really means flat on your back time and not time to work on personal projects!
Google is your friend and your enemy when it comes to looking up your symptoms.
A relationship with your nurse practitioner/doctor is invaluable and I am so thankful for her and the words of encouragement she has given, even when she has to say hard things concerning recovery.
Those are the things I have learned while laying in bed for days at a time, struggling to get full lungs and begging God daily to please let me taste something. There are other things that I have knows, but that have become even more clear in the midst of this.
Loving others means putting our preferences aside – and that is not something we Americans are good at. I’ve gained a new perspective on the cowboy way of western life – in other words, “don’t tell me what to do.” That way of living doesn’t lay aside one’s own preferences easily.
Just wear the mask. Please. You don’t wear it for you – you wear it for others. The fact that it has been made political is beyond me.
My heart has sunk to a new level of empathy in the midst of being sick. I have thought about all of those families – parents, children, siblings, grandparents, grandchildren, friends…all those people who will never get to celebrate another holiday or birthday with a loved one because they were taken far too soon.
I love science and scientist. The knowledge these folks have, the dedication of their whole lives to a cause greater than themselves. I’m so thankful that God created them and their amazing brains! (I follow several infectious disease/epidemiologists on Instagram – check them out. @kinggutterbaby @jessicamalatyrivera @doctor.darien )
God is not far away from this pandemic – He can be found right in the midst of it. His Word has come alive even more so for me in the midst of our illness as well as in the prayers for others fighting it.
People pleasers struggle in the midst of this season. It is not fear, it is true lament and sorrow and concern of caring for ourselves and our families and others. Yet, so often we are too afraid to say these things out loud because we don’t want to appear ‘weak’ or be labeled as ‘fearful’. And often we don’t say anything because we know our words and feeling will not change anything. We are weary…and sometimes we just want someone to really hear us and empathize.
I’ve learned things about myself that I haven’t wanted to admit. Namely – I teeter on anger in this season more than I care to say. Because of this, I’m very thankful for masks to cover my facial expressions! And when I think of it that way, I giggle which then releases some of that anger! Masks are good for more than protecting others!!
So, I just stopped typing and looked up to see I was at 3 pages. Apparently I had more to say about being sick with Covid than I thought.
My hope is that each person reading this would find comfort from God; through His Word, through His people and through hi grace and mercy. This has been a hard year, and the days ahead of us may not be much easier. However, we can find Him in the midst of the hard days. We can see Him in the creative ways people care for one another, in the way He paints the skies at sunrise and sunset with the sun that still comes up and goes down each day, in the way we smile with our eyes at one another – even behind masks. We find him in our prayers filled with many words and in our prayers that are silent because we simply can’t find the words…but he knows our hearts.
As soon as I am able to carry on a conversation without being woefully out of breath, I will release an episode. Until then, go out and find a creative way to make someone smile!
